Monday, December 8, 2014

So... I guess you should know I write poetry

If we ignore the incredibly long unexplained hiatus (sorry) something pretty big happened, I started sharing my poetry. Writing poetry isn't new to me, I have been doing so (mostly badly) since kindergarten (like I said... badly), but a month or so ago I did something out of character for me, I shared it at an open mic night (yeah, like with actual people... it surprised me too). After I dispelled whatever possessed me from my mind I actually felt... well... kinda good. So yeah poetry, who knew? Anyway, most of it is written in a little book I carry with me pretty much everywhere I go, and that's precisely where it shall stay. Today however I am in a sharing mood, so here it goes: my latest poem:

My heart is a dead language
and you…
You pronounce every syllable perfectly

I spoke it clearly once before
but I…
I made that mistake secretly

Lacking as they were in exuberance,
my words could not escape their own weight.
Those words that broke the silence
defied the my looming lonely fate.

Alas defiance grants no favor,
and I faced Hades as a rebel.
a shadowed soldier played the jailer,
For chains my mind’s own drivel.

Shackled as I was by my own prospects,
unable to escape from bonds so strong.
I thought of silver couplets,
but my heart composed a song.

What value could these lyrics claim?
What hope is there in art?
If the song’s stale dialect is the same
as the one that veils my heart.

A shout into the void they call it,
so why must I compose
just one more verse before my respite?
I’ll write it down then I suppose

in hopes that you will translate.
S'agapo, or so I think it goes,
I said it once in a spate
of the language of my woes.

I spoke it clearly once before
But I…
I made that mistake secretly

My heart is a dead language
And you…
You pronounce every syllable perfectly

TA- 12/8/14

Saturday, August 9, 2014


So guys I have this freakish talent... it’s pretty great. It takes a lifetime of work to master it as it requires a truly mesmerizing amount of muscle control in my mouth, and throat... and abdomen. It can be beautiful or terrifying depending on my mood and only 1/8.7 million species on earth is capable of doing it.
yeah... it’s basically the coolest thing I can do.
I can talk (yay anticlimax!). Seriously though! WORDS! crazy stuff... Noises come out of my food hole, and I direct them at other people and they just go "yeah sounds great, I'll meet you at Buffalo Wild Wings at 7:30”, it’s a miracle. The bigger miracle I think is that we don't notice how remarkable an ability we possess. Think about it, we have words for EVERYTHING! Just look around you, there are books (for your sake I hope so), which are just a large cache of words which have a meaning (oh oh oh, more words) its on PAPER attached to a SPINE, and paperbacks use CARDSTOCK, the back of which contains BLURBS (yeah... blurbs... that’s a thing)


    yeah, that’s a CHIMERA (hooray for horrific flashbacks to Fullmetal Alchemist), we have a word for when people decide to randomly throw a bunch of animals together. If I look around I see a LANYARD (what? Who came up with? What?! Why?!) We have words... for words, NOUNS and VERBS, and ADJECTIVES, and ADVERBS, and words for things that mean the same thing as other words and words for things that have the opposite meaning of other words (homonyms and antonyms respectively for all ya'll who done missed elementary school) We have so many words that we have some words that mean the opposite of themselves, INFLAMMABLE means both very easy to catch on fire... and very hard to catch on fire (Whaaaaaaaat?). SENGUINE means both CHEERFULL... and BLOODTHIRSTY. GOOD NEWS THOUGH! We have a word for when things mean the opposite of the thing that they mean (AUTOANTONYM or CONTRANYM, not paradox... I'll get to that in a minute). BUT if we didn't have a word for it there would still be a word for it (sound of me blowing my own mind) (oh and being humble... don't forget that tidbit) because we have a word for when there isn't a word for a thing (LACUNA). Yeah, take some time to think about that... It is so unusual to encounter a situation in which you don't have a word for a thing that most people don't even know that there is a word for when the thing doesn't have a word for it (give it a minute)(seriously... I'll wait).
We even have a word (phrase really... is that cheating? I don't really know the rules I’m just winging this) for the best possible word to use in any given situation (MOT JUSTE) which means that if you need the best possible word to describe the best possible word it describes itself. In fact there are a number of words that describe themselves, noun is a noun, CUTESY sounds kind of adorable, MAGNILLIQUENT means grandiose (and also sounds pretty dang grandiose), POLYSYLLABIC is polysyllabic, UNHYPHENATED is unhyphenated, and at one point the word COINED... was coined. At this point I hope none of you will be surprised to find that there is a word for words that describe themselves, and that word is AUTOLOGICAL, which is also autological in that it describes itself. That's not even the hard part though.
            The hard part is that autological has an antonym (HETEROLOGICAL, side note long is heterological because it is a short word). Heterological doesn't describe itself... because it doesn't describe itself... but it does describe itself... because it doesn't describe itself(thus, very much like the popular song by the boy-band that shall not be named “What Makes you Beautiful”, creating a PARADOX)

Deep breath everyone, you made it!

 I mean unless you are familiar with my writing and just skipped to the end because that's where the fun is (you dirty dog you), in which case you should be ashamed of yourself (and know that I totally understand and support your actions thus far... carry on). If you are sane (very much unlike myself) you may be wandering what prompted this... uh... writing thingy (can this actually qualify as a blog post, what with the butchered grammar and whatnot?). Quite frankly I have no idea, but I am just gonna say that it in no way was an excuse to show off my vocabulary (and youse guys should stop being all judgey and such about my style and stuff, I'm only slightly crazy I swear). So yeah that's that... no deep theological wrap up on this one, no lecture one thankfulness, really that was it... you can go home now (or log off or whatever, presumably you are reading this at home). If you have stuck around this far (why would you do that to yourself?)  you might as well stick around a bit longer and comment.