If we ignore the incredibly long unexplained hiatus (sorry) something pretty big happened, I started sharing my poetry. Writing poetry isn't new to me, I have been doing so (mostly badly) since kindergarten (like I said... badly), but a month or so ago I did something out of character for me, I shared it at an open mic night (yeah, like with actual people... it surprised me too). After I dispelled whatever possessed me from my mind I actually felt... well... kinda good. So yeah poetry, who knew? Anyway, most of it is written in a little book I carry with me pretty much everywhere I go, and that's precisely where it shall stay. Today however I am in a sharing mood, so here it goes: my latest poem:
So guys I have this freakish talent... it’s pretty great.
It takes a lifetime of work to master it as it requires a truly mesmerizing
amount of muscle control in my mouth, and throat... and abdomen. It can be
beautiful or terrifying depending on my mood and only 1/8.7 million species on
earth is capable of doing it.
yeah... it’s basically the coolest thing I can do.
I can talk (yay anticlimax!). Seriously though! WORDS!
crazy stuff... Noises come out of my food hole, and I direct them at other
people and they just go "yeah sounds great, I'll meet you at Buffalo Wild
Wings at 7:30”, it’s a miracle. The bigger miracle I think is that we don't
notice how remarkable an ability we possess. Think about it, we have words for
EVERYTHING! Just look around you, there are books (for your sake I hope so),
which are just a large cache of words which have a meaning (oh oh oh, more
words) its on PAPER attached to a SPINE, and paperbacks use CARDSTOCK, the back
of which contains BLURBS (yeah... blurbs... that’s a thing)
ALSO:
yeah, that’s a CHIMERA (hooray for horrific flashbacks to Fullmetal
Alchemist), we have a word for when people decide to randomly throw a bunch
of animals together. If I look around I see a LANYARD (what? Who came up with?
What?! Why?!) We have words... for words, NOUNS and VERBS, and ADJECTIVES, and
ADVERBS, and words for things that mean the same thing as other words and words
for things that have the opposite meaning of other words (homonyms and antonyms
respectively for all ya'll who done missed elementary school) We have so many
words that we have some words that mean the opposite of themselves, INFLAMMABLE
means both very easy to catch on fire... and very hard to catch on fire (Whaaaaaaaat?).
SENGUINE means both CHEERFULL... and BLOODTHIRSTY. GOOD NEWS THOUGH! We
have a word for when things mean the opposite of the thing that they mean
(AUTOANTONYM or CONTRANYM, not paradox... I'll get to that in a minute). BUT if
we didn't have a word for it there would still be a word for it (sound of me
blowing my own mind) (oh and being humble... don't forget that tidbit) because
we have a word for when there isn't a word for a thing (LACUNA). Yeah, take
some time to think about that... It is so unusual to encounter a situation in
which you don't have a word for a thing that most people don't even know that
there is a word for when the thing doesn't have a word for it (give it a
minute)(seriously... I'll wait).
We even have a word (phrase really... is that cheating? I
don't really know the rules I’m just winging this) for the best possible word
to use in any given situation (MOT JUSTE) which means that if you need the best
possible word to describe the best possible word it describes itself. In fact
there are a number of words that describe themselves, noun is a noun, CUTESY
sounds kind of adorable, MAGNILLIQUENT means grandiose (and also sounds pretty
dang grandiose), POLYSYLLABIC is polysyllabic, UNHYPHENATED is unhyphenated,
and at one point the word COINED... was coined. At this point I hope none of
you will be surprised to find that there is a word for words that describe
themselves, and that word is AUTOLOGICAL, which is also autological in that it
describes itself. That's not even the hard part though.
The hard
part is that autological has an antonym (HETEROLOGICAL, side note long is
heterological because it is a short word). Heterological doesn't describe
itself... because it doesn't describe itself... but it does describe itself...
because it doesn't describe itself(thus, very much like the popular song by the
boy-band that shall not be named “What Makes you Beautiful”, creating a
PARADOX)
Deep breath everyone,
you made it!
I mean unless you are
familiar with my writing and just skipped to the end because that's where the
fun is (you dirty dog you), in which case you should be ashamed of yourself
(and know that I totally understand and support your actions thus far... carry
on). If you are sane (very much unlike myself) you may be wandering what
prompted this... uh... writing thingy (can this actually qualify as a blog
post, what with the butchered grammar and whatnot?). Quite frankly I have no
idea, but I am just gonna say that it in no way was an excuse to show off my
vocabulary (and youse guys should stop being all judgey and such about my style
and stuff, I'm only slightly crazy I swear). So yeah that's that... no
deep theological wrap up on this one, no lecture one thankfulness, really that
was it... you can go home now (or log off or whatever, presumably you are
reading this at home). If you have stuck around this far (why would you do that
to yourself?) you might as well stick
around a bit longer and comment.
Greetings people of the interwebs... I would like to present a brief logical argument; simply two postulates followed by a simple conclusion (then we can address that title thingy that y'all are probably curious about).
Postulate #1: creating is terrifying
Postulate #2: everyone creates
The logical conclusion then is that we are all terrified, and I know what you are thinking, you are gonna say "but Todd I'm not terrified", to which I shall respond, "shut up you don't know what you are talking about... now let me think I'm smart for just a little longer". You see it's actually not creating per se that is terrifying, it's sharing the creation. Perhaps even the thought of sharing your creation is what's terrifying because once your creation is in front of another person you have lost all power and all at once the thing over which you had full control mere seconds ago is well and truly out of your hands. But even that isn't true because you still have all of your hopes, dreams, values, aspirations, and days or weeks, even months or years that you've poured into this... thing... that you are now sharing with the world, and here's the kicker... they have every right to despise it. So yeah... terrifying right?
Now to address the second postulate that we are all creators. We have all been pretty well conditioned to believe that this isn't necessarily the case. Steve Jobs *cough* Samsung *cough* makes an iPhone... we buy an iPhone... but that's NOT how the worlds is! Even if you have no way of physically creating a thing you create ideas, sometimes jokes and hopefully friendships, but ultimately you have a far more intimidating creation we all MUST make. It's the creation that matters most to all of us and is the scariest, most dangerous, most intimate, and most beautiful creation that EVERYBODY gets to make... and that is the self. (notice I did not say selfie... as that is a thing that we create far too many of) And this more than any other reason is why I hate when people give the advice to "just be yourself", because who even is that? We are not born with a self, we create one (we are born with souls and intrinsic value... different rant).You make you out of the books that you read, the expectations you accept from your culture, interactions with your friends and family, as well as countless other factors that I cannot begin to list. And because the self is this terribly intense and personal creation, when someone tells you they don't like THAT thing, it's terrible. Which is why talking to a stranger or distant acquaintance is always scary (for me at least). Because when you talk to a new person you are making you inside of their minds, and you don't want to do a bad job because you may never be able to undo that first creation. That is why we all fear judgement so much, because judgement is just someone creating you in their own head without your permission or full knowledge of who you are. They're making you... but they're making you improperly, it's terrifying. ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING. But there are a few ways I've found to make it less so, you can create the bare minimum... just give up... that's good... you can be really bland so as not to agitate anyone's sensitivities... or you can create things that you don't care about at all, or for people that you don't care about... OR you could just never (EVER!) share what you create... and of course all of these strategies are terrible ways to live. It is awful to see people doing this to their creations... to themselves... and yet we all witness it, perhaps we even participate by TRYING to be boring, or look like everyone else, or worse... not trying at all. All of this has led me to the belief that you know (or think you know) how worthwhile your creation is, be it an object, idea, or you (yes you), by how terrified you are when the time comes to share it with the world. I've only found one real solution to this, which is to just... create... in spite of fear, and to create constantly. To create for strangers, and friends; to create for your idols and your fans (as if I had any), for your peers and your superiors, and to consciously create your own self, everyday. Make you the you that you feel best inside of.
(side note: create friendships as often as possible, I believe that friends are the commodity which we should hold most dear, and despite the internet's love of proclaiming "the friend zone" as the most horrid of punishments doled upon men everywhere... the value of a friend will in all likelihood far outweigh that of a high school relationship. By investing in the lives of others and learning to celebrate happiness that is not your own you make your self far more valuable... and ultimately you are the greatest benefactor.)
The only way that I've found to temper the fear of creation is to create constantly, to be clear, the fear doesn't go away. You just get more comfortable in it. That comfort... that's what I want to focus on. (man segues are weird) Ever since a friend challenged me to follow the advice I had given him (to care a bit less about what others thought of me) I have been perseverating on the story of one Florence Foster Jenkins.
For those of you who don't know who Florence Foster Jenkins is, prepare to have your feeble minds blown. I will spare you all the boring detail and simply quote the first line of Wikipedia's article pertaining to her, "Florence Foster Jenkins (July 19, 1868 – November 26, 1944) was an American amateur operatic soprano who was known—and ridiculed—for her lack of rhythm, pitch, and tone; her aberrant pronunciation; and her generally poor singing ability." Lest you think Wikipedia was exaggerating I shall now permit you the joy of hearing her sing for yourself:
go ahead... let that sink in, that was painful. Now try not to be too surprised when I tell you that she SOLD OUT Carnegie Hall. Jenkins began her singing career when she was 44 years old, she was divorced, her parents had died, she had inherited a little bit (ok a lot) of money; and she decided to pursue her dream of becoming a famous opera singer. Honestly she had everything going for her, she had the drive, she had the time, she had the money, she wasn't afraid to fail, there was just the one small problem of being a terrible singer. But that's the crazy thing about her, she couldn't sing at all but she really BELIEVED she could sing. She would come on stage wearing wings and sing Verdi. It would be a total disaster... except that she had fun and everyone in the audience had fun, and as a result she had a pretty successful career. In 1944 Jenkins finally made it to her infamous performance at Carnegie Hall. She played a sold out show at Carnegie Hall and she SUCKED! This is vital because Florence Foster Jenkins set the bar for worst ever Carnegie Hall performance so low that I feel even I could leap over it. Now before attempting to do so I must admit that with my knees locked I can't even touch my toes, why is this relevant? Because that being as it is, realistically I will never achieve my lifelong goal of being a professional contortionist (ok so perhaps that isn't my real goal). Obviously in life you have to find the place where your talents meet the world's needs, but the great lesson of Florence Foster Jenkins is that aptitude is not destiny. I mean lets be perfectly honest here, she (much like I) sang like a tone deaf walrus... with a cold. However, since she refused to be self conscious about doing this thing which she sucked at people responded! Granted, it was often by laughing. But they responded! It was obviously fulfilling for her because she sang for people professionally for nearly 40 years. It sucks to be bad at something you love, but I really admire people who do it anyway (for instance I really admire myself when I attempt to do yoga). While I certainly hope none of us ever replaces Jenkins as the worst performance in the history of Carnegie Hall, I admire her too. As she once put it, "People may say I can't sing, but no one can ever say I didn't sing.".
Honestly that's exactly how I feel. If I really do create something terrible, if someday my writing, or my self becomes an object of ridicule I hope that at the very least I can say that I was great... great at being terrible. Because at the end of the day I don't much care whether that stranger remembers our conversation with glowing admiration (I mean that would be nice and all), I care whether or not I allow how people perceive me to effect what I become... and what I make my self to be. So carry on, and try not to let your prolonged exposure to my peculiarity damage you too badly.
So today I am writing about a very serious topic... human nature, and why people (collectively) are terrible. This isn't to say that each and every individual out there is a morally depraved sadist who enjoys stealing candy from babies... but yeah people are jerks.What I am trying to say is that there is something about the knowledge (or belief) that your face and name are not truly being associated with your words or actions that creates some truly terrifying results. The internet has given us an unprecedented portal for social experimentation that quite frankly may blow your mind.
With the information that can be casually observed during your typical browsing session (assuming that session includes social media use and memes) it is possible to understand that in a group of ten perfectly kind people at least one of them will be a "troll"- I understand that this term may require some defining, bear with me- You see when people, particularly the type who inhabit the "interwebs" gather there is discussion. During these discussions you can either learn a great deal or have a chat that vaguely resembles the comment section of a YouTube video... and you NEVER want the latter to happen, yet it always does eventually. This is due to the a fore mentioned "trolls". People who thrive on discord and chaos, people who's mothers should be ashamed (I'm joking but also kind of not). They leave comments with the specific intention of creating a flame war and sit back and watch the show as people debate politics beneath a video about a cat wearing a fedora (no joke that actually happened) (also I already discussed politics and I don't understand why we haven't yet attained world peace in the subsequent weeks). Now it is understandable that there are at least a few of these people, when over 3 billion people use the internet everyday a few of them are bound to turn up occasionally, after all as we here on the internet say:
The fascinating thing however is just how prevalent, even celebrated this behavior is. With entire websites dedicated to the "Art of Trolling" people seem to have embraced the idea that it is ok... cool even to mess with others via the internet, and a lot of people would like to know why. This is where video games come in, because a week ago something happened, and I am still unsure whether it is the epitome of idiots wasting their time via the internet or the most brilliant social experiment ever (that was a link FYI). What I have just attempted to force all of you into viewing is a live stream of over 80,000 people (at the time of writing), playing Pokemon together... as the same character. And if the mode is still, as I strongly believe it will always be, in "anarchy" then you will all get to witness a prime example of trolling, or maybe everyone will get there act together and it will be a beautiful illustration of why I am wrong and people aren't terrible (not likely but fingers crossed).
Why should it matter that 80,000 nerds are attempting to cooperate to beat a simple child's game from 1996? Aside from the landmark event in collaborative gaming, it is a great example of the point that I would ultimately like to make.
When discussing human nature there is a large difference between the intentions of people as individuals and the actions of the same people when put in large groups, especially when anonymity is a factor. Groups it would seem are inclined to push, even fight, for a goal they deem to be "right" and implies some common sense of morality (be it for whatever reason), and while this may be quite an extrapolation to make from a Pokemon game it makes sense. Many of those people have dedicated hours of there lives to the end of getting everyone else through a game that they could just as easily beat by themselves in a tiny fraction of the time, they are (in an odd way) being quite selfless. The wildcards then are the trolls, these people have no reason to want to impede the progress of the group but do so anyway. These people gain nothing from their efforts, and are putting in just as much time as the ones working through chaotic good towards the end of beating the elite four (I hope you all had good enough childhoods to know what that is). I don't know why it happens, just that it does, and I know that I will never have a good explanation for it. It is however oddly comforting that despite the omnipresence of those who would have otherwise humanity as a whole will try, if poorly, to achieve what they see as right (whether or not it actually is right is a whole different argument that I will not currently have with you).
So what do you think? Do you agree with the sentiment that humanity as a group at least tries to be good? Or am I just a lunatic that over-romanticizes what I think is kind of cool? Please let me know what you think in the comments, or else I will write my next 20 posts on Twitch playing Pokemon (don't think this is an empty threat, I totally can, and I will).
Valentine's Day is here (cue dramatic music), and I have plans!... sort of, I will be either at home or at school (the snow once again plagues our lands) avoiding all of the couples my age.
So in short
Because I hate people! Ok, so I don't hate people per se, but I must admit all the phony lovey-dovey junk perturbs me. Or perhaps I am bitter because I have literally always been single on Valentine's Day... with no sign of that changing... LIKE EVER. And so I now present, without equivocation or apology:
A Loner's Guide to Getting Girls to Like You:
1)become a puppy, or a kitten, evidently they are "cute" and I totally agree (a sneezing panda bear is also acceptable)
2)I have had several extremely awkward and (in hindsight) very clumsy "relationships" which consisted of elementary school me being waaaaaaaaay too serious and "romantic" (it wasn't romantic). Don't be elementary school Todd, that does not work
3)to clarify, girls not named Bella Swan have what I will now refer to as CSR, or Creepy Stalker Radar, try not to activate that
a)Now if I can briefly interrupt my list I think that the second and third points need some explanation. The trouble with guys (me really... honestly I am assuming you are all just me) is that we are needy, but we are taught that we are not allowed to be needy. As a result when we get in a situation where it could just possibly, maybe, be kinda sorta ok(ish) to be vulnerable we (I) sort of rip our chests open and let the need flow out... and its kind of disgusting. My theory is that rational girls (and guys I hope) have this warning system inside their heads and whenever someone gets too obsessed with them it starts beeping like crazy and a loud voice comes from the sky shouting "back away". (which by the way is a totally helpful warning system because no girl (or any other person) is going to fill the holes inside of you)
4)RELAX
a)I would like to point the reader’s attention to those fun little Chinese finger cuff game thingies (thingies is a technical term), the more you are panicked and overeager the worse it is. Instead just relax, perhaps there is something to just being yourself. If you need to totally recreate yourself to make things work with another person the two of you could never really get along
5)It is really helpful if you see girls as people instead of pathways to kissing and/or emotional salvation
a)One of the things that I have noticed during my brief stint in existence is that if you treat girls like people (albeit people that like fart jokes somewhat less than the rest of your friends) they might actually, oh I don't know... not run away when you try to talk to them. And once you get to the point where they aren't creeped out by you perhaps you could be friends! Maybe... just maybe... one day you could be (wait for it) more than friends (tehe), shocking right, that friendship could be the basis for a later "relationship".
6)Finally, maybe don’t take advice from random kids on the internet who have never had a serious relationship in their lives
With that out of the way we can get back to the important things, like indiscriminately hating those annoying couples at school.
I have not updated this in two weeks, and this was after I (kind of sort of not really) promised to update it weekly. So in an effort to make up for my lack of writing I will... well I'm not going to do a blessed thing, but I thought about it, I really did. All 15 of my regular readers are sincerely thanked for pretending to care for this long. So without further ado I will delve into my latest and greatest rant.
Today in a sad and ultimately useless attempt to be relevant I will be discussing politics... because, why not? It is my (totally correct) (oh and humble) opinion that they are the single most divisive issue in the world (or my world at least) at the moment. Let's face it we all have that one friend who seriously will not shut up about how (insert adjective here) (insert politician here) is... like ever. Be it in the news, online, or in person it seems the only thing that keeps politics from coming up is celebrities getting arrested for drag racing and whatever their poor misguided fans then tweet in response. So let’s argue for a minute here, whether or not you agree with the political ideals which make the most sense to me or not is not the issue, and as far as I am concerned should never be. I want it on record that if I EVER get combative in a discussion about politics you have my permission to slap me... repeatedly, until whatever has come over me gets tired of it... then slap me again for good measure.
Why? Because we ( I ) need to get something straight... that person we are yelling at... yeah them... WE AREN'T GOING TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS, well not like that anyway. And even if we could are the things that any of us are arguing about worth alienating those around us over? Yes I get it they support such wicked, and morally depraved people and policies... oh the humanity! They must be stopped! Alright so maybe you aren't that dramatic (out loud anyway) but honestly when I listen to these conversations I can feel everyone around me internally (or externally whatever floats your boat) seething at the perceived folly of their counterpart’s views. As one topic of conversation… errr team death match high school politics, leads to another inevitably news outlets come up… and boy does that get ridiculous. Here’s a recap, blah blah blah Fox is biased, blah blah blah so is CNN, blah blah blah we hate each other now. And just like that all hope for civility is destroyed in one fell swoop, because clearly the “mainstream media” is covering politician x’s scandal more than politician y’s and etc. etc. etc. we all hate each other. Sense a trend yet? Because I do, and it disturbs me that we all think politics will actually solve anything.
Listen to me and listen well because I will only be 17 for so long and after that I can’t guarantee that I will still know everything. No politician or party can or will fix this country, or any country for that matter, and no amount of violence will bring us the change we need. If we want to see our nation or even our neighborhood change for the better we don’t need to just vote for our favorite candidate, we need to invest in the lives of those around us. The mission of the church is and always will be to change hearts, so why now the fixation with changing laws? Yes many of us feel we are helping others by doing so, and maybe you are, but nowhere in the Bible does it command us to legislate our morality (and I maintain that it can’t be done). If anything we are assured that the government will disagree with us, but that we are to submit and love others unconditionally. Do we then allow the laws to be the standard of what we teach as acceptable? Of course not, so why should we make a reputation for ourselves as hateful and uncaring mobs when we could be helping those in need?
Should you vote? There is no good reason not to, but be careful! Don’t get so caught up in looking towards political saviors that you ignore the teaching and message of the ACTUAL savior. If you don’t know where I am coming from I urge you to read the passages below. For the sake of brevity I am just listing the verse(s) that speak most directly to my point, but please read the entire passage on your own, we don’t need any more verses being taken out of context. As always feel free to disagree and let your opinion be heard in the comments section below.
Romans 13:7
Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. 1 Timothy 2:1-2
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. Matthew 5:43-58
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
So... does anybody else remember how I made that new years resolution, well I do, and I would like to say that technically I have not broken it... yet, I didn't actually specify a starting date. So I guess this means I am supposed to say something deep and thought provoking now... that's a lot of pressure guys, which means I am going the opposite direction (sorry, not sorry).
In lieu of any serious introspective thoughts today I am offering some very random and possibly boring thoughts I had on Tuesday. I chose that day because something very interesting happened, it was deemed too cold to go to school; I am just going to let that one sink in while I inform you that there was ice on the inside of my bedroom window. So naturally I will be taking this opportunity to lecture my imaginary audience about energy efficiency and insulation because you know everybody just loves to talk about that. Of course I'm not going to do that, none of you thought I was going to do that (right? you do still expect a tad bit more excitement then that don't you). Instead I will be filling you in on the current state of television.
Now I know what you are all thinking, "here comes another rant telling us about how TV used to be better and how now it just makes us dumb" and I disagree, I maintain that TV has always been making us dumb. Here's why, because although a lot of people will agree that it has gotten more brazenly inappropriate since (insert meaningless "landmark" in openly "dirty" television) I believe that what we watch isn't the problem so much as why we watch. Mark my words, I am not saying watch whatever you want, if anything I am cautioning you to do the opposite.
A quick perusal of the offerings of cable TV will demonstrate what I mean. Almost without fail the most watched shows rely heavily on themes that as Christians, heck as decent people we should be nothing if not wary of. Even the most innocent of shows now features multiple innuendos tucked away in each episode, why? Because they can, and because nobody is going to do anything about it, and I am not going to lie I LIKE watching TV, so who am I to tell everyone not to watch it? But regardless of how innocent it may seem it has struck me that we should not be so readily entertained by the morally degraded actions of our favorite characters. If you would not condone your children carrying out the actions you see on TV then why would you sit down in front of the idiot box and watch them play out for an hour? The hyper-sexual crap that we stream into our houses at 1080p at prime time isn't the only problem. Even the shows that make a genuine effort to stay family friendly need a gimmick of some sort, because we all know that only the shows aimed at the lowest common denominator make money, and so there we sit watching shows that have plots which can be summed up as "ha-ha look at the silly rednecks" (I am looking at YOU Duck Dynasty). I know I am going to take flack for insulting the "role models" on that show but it is a clear example of a network taking advantage of the odd system we have where famous+Christian= infallible. And if you really examine the show most of the story line revolves around them doing some ridiculous and staged stunt that makes us laugh because... well at least we aren't dumb enough to do THAT! So I am joining the chorus of "boring" old guys with nothing to do and issuing a statement that will almost certainly be misapplied.
When you are watching TV just think about what it is you are buying into, is finding out if your two favorite characters will end up together really that important? Or perhaps this is the guy who really wants to be a millionaire? Maybe you just HAVE TO KNOW how Sherlock survived his fall, and if it is that important to you then go ahead, but be wary, because nothing devours productivity and dulls your wit faster than letting the idiot box dictate how you spend your time. Television certainly isn't evil in and of itself, but the tendency it has to control our time, and steer conversation shows that it is more important to you than you think.
My final thought is to simply say this... think about how nice a good bookshelf would look in place of that TV.
And here I am writing my "year in review" post a full 72 hours after everybody else... yay. So as the last of the confetti gets swept away and we all prepare to re-enter the hum-drum of everyday life lets make our collective half-hearted promises or "resolutions". Mine will be 1920x1080...
I apologize, that pun was cheesy and uncalled for (I regret nothing).
I have been having a hard time coming up with resolutions, and according to the internet I should take either one of multiple paths.
just give up and don't have any, this has the added benefit of letting you mock the readily apparent stupidity of other's plans without being a hypocrite. (I like this one it offers instant reward with minimal effort, with the minor side effect of appearing to be a total jerk)
Go the opposite direction entirely and choose an unrealistic one (for instance joining... and actually GOING TO... a local gym) all the while foolishly posting your decision all over the internet. (bad plan everybody)
choose an easily attainable and seemingly worthless goal that you are certain to reach and can later look back at with a sense of accomplishment... be it somewhat mitigated by the ease of your task. (for instance if I vowed to spend 20 extra minutes a day watching TV, I could do it, but who would be proud of that feat?)
I could actually uphold the original intent of the concept and set a difficult but achievable goal that will make me a better human being and/or teach me a lesson along the way, but who does that anymore?
And with all that in mind I will proceed to promptly ignore it all. Why? because reasons... and stuff, and because if I happen to break a few rules nobody who reads random blogs on Google is going to care, which brings me to my first one.
I will try* to post weekly updates on this blog so that those few who actually read this faithfully will at least have something to look forward to when they wander over to this web address occasionally.
I will try* to find a bit of emotion** in my daily life aside from the overwhelmingly powerful feeling of "meh, whatever" that currently dictates my writing and leads to such unfiltered rants as this.
And finally I will try* to start proof reading my posts rather than sitting down for ten minutes and posting the result, because apparently writers don't just submit the intellectual equivalent of their half chewed food and call it a day (my bad).
* try indicates a concerted effort when I am up to it, and in no way constitutes genuine work or any use of the word for what it was intended
** emotion includes indifference and in no way commits the author of this blog to actually change anything
So that's all folks, I am deeply sorry if you were hoping for some kind of emotional wrap up or half finished lesson because there is literally nothing in this paragraph but mindless filler I don't even know what I'm saying, wow this is a long run on... are you seriously still reading this? Yeah the post is over, go back to stalking people on Facebook, crawling through your twitter news feed, or whatever the heck it is you do people do. Wait! you're still there? cool (I am taking your silence as a yes) take a second to share and comment you lout. (pretty please... I won't throw baseless insults at you without knowing who you are anymore!I am a changed man I promise)
